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Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Gastric bypass ain't nothin' to f*ck wit

Ha ha, fat people are easy to make fun of! They're slow and they're big, easy targets! Ha ha! Aren't I just a card, with my clever jokes about Charlie Weis' gastric bypass lawsuit?

I have to be serious here for a moment. The truth is that gastric bypass is not just kind of a big deal, it's a HUGE deal. It's really, really serious surgery, and you have to be at an absolute nadir (or zenith, if you want to think about it another way) to even contemplate having it.

My dad had gastric bypass a few years ago. He looks and feels great now. He lost a lot of weight with relatively few side effects but I know people who've had it done who've had life-threatening sepsis, become addicted to painkillers afterward, or people for whom the surgery just didn't work. About six months after his surgery, he told me that when he was in the hospital, the night after his surgery, he was lying in bed thinking, "What the hell have I gotten myself into?" My dad spent four days in the hospital; I'm shocked that Weis would even consider sneaking in and out of the hospital for his procedure.

My dad will maintain a healthy weight for the rest of his life--which he's probably lengthened by about 25-30 years--but there are a shitload of drawbacks, too. The pre-op testing was intense: All kinds of scans, examinations, tests, even psychological evaluations. It was a full year between his first appointment with his surgeon and the actual day of surgery. He has to take handful of pills every morning to make up for the nutritional deficiencies caused by the rejiggering of his plumbing. He can't tolerate certain foods anymore. And on a superficial note, he looks kind of like a shar-pei puppy now.

But he and the rest of my family are happy--no, ecstatic--with the results. As much of a pain in the ass as he is, I'm glad he'll be around a lot longer to torment me.

It really pisses me off that fat people are the last bastion of scorn in this country. You can't make fun of, say, black people or Jews or the gays, without Jesse Jackson getting all up in your biz, but if you're fat, it's open season. Well, it's not cool or funny, and we're tired of hearing it. Of all the things you could make fun of Charlie Weis for--bad haircut, pleated khakis, his degree from Notre Dame is in DRAMA, for God's sake--the fact that he's fat should be the last thing on that list.

2 FORMED A COMMENT.

  • At 2:34 PM, Blogger Jon said…

    Kudos as a fat guy. However, it should be pointed out that making fun of pleated pants is really an adjunct insult to the fat ones, as pleated pants are really designed for your more bootylicious gentleman. That is all.

     
  • At 11:29 PM, Blogger Monica said…

    I know I'm a little late, but I concur. I've been made fun of all my life as a fat person and it gets pretty gosh darn annoying! I also hate that with being fat (I prefer lady of substance), I'm stereotyped as being lazy, stupid, and low self-esteemed.

    I hate ignorant people. But yes, my mother knew a lady at her work who had the surgery done and died a week earlier. No thanks!

     

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